28 June, 2011

Good night


“Good night.”
The chasm between wishing goodnight and actually falling asleep.
You lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling and think.
Just think.
About your day. How good it was. How nothing went wrong. Or how you totally screwed up.
You shouldn’t have attended that lecture. And when you did, you shouldn’t have fallen asleep.
You shouldn’t have yelled at your professor. And you wouldn’t have been thrown out of the class.
That just proves that t-shirt you wore today is indeed unlucky for you. Doesn’t it?
You wore it the day of the results. That was the first big indicator. And the day your friend (now, ex-friend) accused you of gossiping about her.
You should have known it is unlucky. Never again, not even at home, will you wear it now.
You should probably stop thinking about all this, and go to sleep. Or else, you will fall asleep in another lecture tomorrow again.

Then you try to block everything out, random thoughts and guilt over things you can’t change, that were not really your fault.
Everything just floods into your brain at the same time.
The injured dog you saw on the street but didn’t know how to help him.
That old man at the station carrying luggage for someone and then being paid less than he deserved.
Those kids at traffic signals trying to sell flowers. The random kid waving you goodbye after you got off the train.
Abandoning the cute kitten in the park because your parents wouldn’t let you get it home.
The very old blind lady near your college who lived on the footpath.

All that guilt you hoard inside yourself threatens to take over…
…and then you fall asleep.

You don’t know when-how-why but you manage to have a good night’s sleep.

The best part of the day…hell, the best part about life on earth…is when you first emerge from a good night’s sleep.
As you slowly emerge from your slumber, you exist in a very primal…okay, even infantile stage. You’re rested. You’re safe.
On the most fundamental level: you are alive. You’ve stayed off death for another day.
The feeling of cosmic bliss is, however, fleeting. If you are lucky you can stretch it out to...oh...two or three seconds.
After that, old man consciousness comes to stay and he’s brought his pal reality with him, the bastard.
You try and hold them off, but…it’s too late.
You start to think…
You start to remember all of your responsibilities. All of the people who are counting on you, who depend on you. You also remember all of the people, all of them, who you let down.
All the people you have to face today… and all that commitments and… more and more and more.
A lifetime piling up.

And then they expect you to get out of bed.

 - Alex Robinson, Tricked



He roams around our college with heavy metallic stuff tied around his neck.

This women served us 'Pitla Bhakri' when we had gone for a trek to Ticona.

Some school kids in a village in Gujurat.

She was stroking that calf so fearlessly.

When we were leaving from that village, this girl came running and asked me to take her picture.



114 comments:

  1. This is brilliant. BRILLIANT. Loved the thoughts swirling before a goood night's sleep, the pictures and the post as a whole. Made me think of a lot of things I had conveniently chosen to forget.

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  2. Blame it to the t-shirt *giggles*, so apt. :) Loved it.

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  3. Great post!
    And, DAMN! How does that guy carry that metallic stuff around his neck?

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  4. TTTTTTTT! This is so beautiful! This is what I like about bloggers like you. You guys write something once in a bluepinkyellowgreen moon, but when you do, it's worth the wait. :)

    So damn beautiful. Must meet you. (CREEPY, but I want to!)

    Bye! :)

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  5. Beautiful :)
    it's like you grow with each post :D

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  6. @ Zeba - Thanks. I hope you remembered those memories for good. :)

    @ Dishita - :D I have so many such unlucky stuff...! Something or other has to go wrong!

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  7. @ Vishant Pachisia - No clue. And he keeps adding new junk stuff to it. Its kinda scary. :|

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  8. @ S - :)
    Toh-tal-lee!
    Periwinkle meets the 'Chilled out' cow!
    \m/

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  9. wow friend..u have a good blog here..cheers n wishes:)

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  10. the long awaited post. loved it....
    especially since i'm having trouble sleeping....
    and the pictures were beautiful too.

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  11. Nice Post...I wish I had a good night sleep. You were right "Everything just floods into your brain at the same time" and this happened when I tried to sleep...everytime
    And kids asked you to take a pic of them is kinda hard to refuse esp when they're already posed in front of your camera :)

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  12. hey...awesome post...liked your blog...hope to see u much around.. :)

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  13. @ R.Ramesh - Thanks you! :)

    @ reetam - Thank you.
    Hope you have a good nights sleep. :)

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  14. @ Emmagination - :)
    Also is hard to refuse when they are super cute.

    @ Lehari. - Thanks for visiting...! :)

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  15. This is so true you know..about the guilt factor..when you cannot do or go out of your way and help people who need us. They don't get proper food and we feel just so helpless..:(
    epic post periwinkle..:)

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  16. Awesome post.
    Love the header
    :D

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  17. Kickass. I loved the way you could do the imagery :DD
    Now, where's that 'follower' button?

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  18. @ THOTSOZONE - I know right! :( And then that memory haunts you.. :(

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  19. @ J - Thanks! :D O like your blog too!



    @ Blades of Awesomenes <- I love that name! :D
    Awesome blog you have. ( Which is so obvious!!)

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  20. sheer awesomeness..ppl like u who can click such awesome photographs make me go green with jealousy :P :P
    n thank u 4 vistin my page :) :)

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  21. Yes. GOOD POST. But I like the fishes. And this time I am gonna say cool fishes. COOL FISHES. There, I said it.

    Scribblers Inc.

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  22. @ mayank_dreams - Thank you so very much! :)
    Keep visiting!

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  23. that calf is so cute! Great pictures btw

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  24. Great people pictures you have :)
    also i loved the read....
    The time of night when you stare at the eerie glow of the CFL's and T.V screens.

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  25. I know !! I end up thinking like this at times !!

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  26. and I love the pictures you click !! :)

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  27. T B P,

    Very true. If one can fall asleep the moment his or her head hits pillow means that nothing wrong has been done or witnessed by that person. Otherwise all this happens in mind and then some of it in dreams too. It is a fact that microseconds after good sleep are bliss and then our realities hit us. That is why it is said that when one is about to depart from this world all his or her doings float infront of eyes. Good photographs.

    Take care

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  28. @ kshipra_22 - Yes!! That time of the night! Thats exactly what I am talking about!

    Thank you! :)

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  29. @ Psy-Lee - Yeha! I end up thinking like that almost all the time!

    Thanks!

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  30. @ Jack - Yeah, it would be impossible to fall asleep As soon as you lie down..

    Thanka a lot! :)

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  31. awesome!!! Nice thoughts, actually true thoughts.

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  32. Interesting!:) I liked the photos too much..keep writing..I would like to follow your posts:)

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  33. @ Sneha Sunny - :)
    Thanks! Keep visiting!


    @ Mishi - Thankyou!! :D
    I like your blog too

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  34. Hey new follower :D *waves at u*
    Niiice post!! Love ur blog :D

    BTW me too been to Ticona/Tikona !

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  35. You have an interesting way of seeing things that i quite like. I call it an "observer's mind", and it comes across in your writing. I love learning about India because i think out countries have so much in common.

    Thanks for dropping by my blog : )

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  36. aaaaw- Really liked this post. Like your writing style as well. Really simple and straightforward :)

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  37. ha...just realised i commented with my other blog earlier! :)

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  38. @ Drama Queen - Welcome to my blog! :)
    Ticona was fun, wasn't it?


    @ Mimi B - Thank you so much! :)
    Yes, our countries have very much in common.

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  39. @ dami - Thank you so much.
    Keep visiting.


    @ flabby - You did? Which one? O.O

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  40. You have no idea how much I loved your post!
    Everything about it, every single line..I just loved it! And I could relate to so many of the things you have stated.
    It's beautiful! Loved the pictures too.
    Take Care :)

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  41. nice:) and nicely real:)

    do others dream of what they have to do, and convince themselves that they have done it, and go back to sleep? (I have done many times)..

    the last pic is going to stay in my mind for a long time:)

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  42. lovely post! am following your blog now- will keep coming back for more:)

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  43. @ ♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ - :) I am glad you liked it!

    Thanks for dropping by!

    @ ☆ Rià ღ - Thank you so very much!

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  44. @ wise donkey - I like your ID! :P
    I have tried doing..in my dreams. Lots of times.
    :D

    @ Raam Pyari - :) Thank you.

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  45. really, that chasm between wishing good night and actually sleeping bring back a flood of memories.
    Nicely written :)

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  46. I feel.. Almost cried. I relate to these thoughts so much. Keep writing.. Much Love

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  47. @ Ayushi B - Thank you so very much.
    :)


    @ the silent observer - :)

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  48. Yeah,it was fun :D A lil tiring though :/
    BTW Dami = Flabby :) That's what she meant by commenting with her other a/c earlier ..

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  49. Yeah, it was tiring. But super fun!! :D

    Oh, Dami and Flabby, one person!
    Wokay!

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  50. I never thought I would EVER come across something being quoted from Tricked! Nice. :)

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  51. Very artistic... keep writting :)

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  52. You have a thing with words and photography. *touched*

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  53. Awesome write-up. Loved the photos.

    Following you now :)

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  54. wow! :p 62 comments. well-deserved.

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  55. these pictures have a raw element in them :)
    Loved them

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  56. Perfect Pictures.
    Feeling jumpy are we? :P Nice Blog design change! ME Likey! :)

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  57. @ Sam B - Thanks man! :D


    @ Nostalgic - :) Thnakyou! I like your blog too, esp all the pictures!

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  58. @ Aasiyah - :D Thank YOU!

    @ Ayushi B - :)

    @ PsycheBBubbles - :D Yus yus!
    Thank you! Just trying different things!

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  59. i dont know why i had the feeling i had read it before. maybe i had.

    anyway so its a touchy post it really is. i am sure you already know.

    but tu load bahut leti hai. i dont know if its my place to say it, but say i will.

    You start to remember all of your responsibilities. All of the people who are counting on you, who depend on you.
    whats this about?

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  60. Just, people. In life.
    :)

    Life's good.
    No load. Nothing.

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  61. World is seen best through the eyes of a dispassionate observer. It seems an infinitely more interesting place from that particular point of view. One thing I find in common is that you too are full of emotions....and only the truly emotional can know what true dispassion is, even though the sensation is transient. :)

    The enigmatic old man, the expectant look on the girl's face....as always, the photos are brilliant....they tell tales untold....

    And as for sleep....well, so often do I wake up - mostly in the evenings - after deep, dreamless slumbers, with not even the slightest notion about time & space....transitory though this cluelessness may be, but the empty feeling is something 'to sleep for'... :)

    Finally - http://rohithramdas.blogspot.com/2011/07/streamingthoughts.html

    I'm not trying to endorse myself here, certainly not....just that I get a feeling that somewhere down the line, "Good Night" and "Streaming....Thoughts..." share something in common....the 'spirit' may be....I'm stupid enough, not to know how to delineate...

    Take care, and keep writing....and keep clicking!! :)

    Rohith

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  62. You wanna score a 100 comment thing or what before your next post?

    There's a limit to WRITER's BLOCK. I miss reading man!

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  63. This has been said so nicely. ~like~

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  64. @ Rohith - True, very true.
    The world is best seen through those eyes..

    And that empty feeling...hardly lasts a few seconds. But something, that one craves for.

    :)

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  65. @ Sam B - :D Now that you mention..., I might try doing that!

    No, but seriously, will post soon.
    :)

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  66. Its an awesome post. About truth, despair and guilt over things that only comes up just before we close our eyes, maybe for sleep or perhaps forever.

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  67. :)

    Yeah, maybe for sleep or perhaps forever.

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  68. How do you deal with such guilt.
    About leaving the kitten behind, not being able to feed a stray, for getting to sit in a/c rooms while the kid your same age works in factories and gets exploited.

    Wonderful post and wonderful photos as well.
    You write like a mature person but I'm guessing you are still a teen?

    More, please.

    P.S: Your header is oh-so-berry-very-awesomely-super
    :)

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  69. Its hard.. really hard. To overcome such guilt.. I guess, you never can.
    :(

    Yeah, in my last teen years..
    Thank you, thank you!

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  70. You seem like such a nice person! Your blog speaks for you! And I felt like this blog post was speaking for me too! Keep writing! :)

    http://trancequiller.blogspot.com/

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  71. The images are so real, so real! :)
    The words, they show that you are beyond your age, late teens, that is!
    Beautiful post! :)

    Love, Risha :)

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  72. YOU are an amazing blogger.
    Like, seriously, you have no idea how much I loved this post. EXCELLENT!

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  73. @ Risha Kalra - :)
    Thankyou oh-so-much.

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  74. @ Purplemist - (Nice name :D)
    Thankyou!!

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  75. Sweet! That was like, really good! You write really well! :)

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  76. Thank you so much Vanillasweetheart.
    :)

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  77. This is SO true!
    We may say goodnight early, but lay awake thinking of everything-above and beyond!

    P.S. You've clicked amazing pictures. :D

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  78. @ Shagun Ohri - Yes yes!! Thst is exactly what we end up doing!! Everything but sleep. >_<

    Thankyou! You have awesome blog..!

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  79. WOw that was indeed a thoughtful post..Loved all random pictures you have clicked...

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  80. Awesome awesome! Especially the pictures!
    Keep writing :)

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  81. Great post!! And great pictures!! Love every bit of it!!
    :)

    P.S - I am just starting to blog. Updated my first post. Its not really very great but will you help me get better?
    Please leave you comments..
    :) Thanks!

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  82. @ Whuaat - Thank you! :)

    @ Individuel - Thank you so very much! :)
    Yeah sure, will surely check it out!

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  83. You are one of my favourite bloggers. You need to post more awesomeness on here :)

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  84. I left a gift for you at my latest post :)

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  85. @ PurpleMist. - Thankyou! I sure will. :)

    @ Seяendipity™ - Best gift ever! Thanks! :)

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  86. Great post and very beautiful in the purest sense of the word, and the expressions caught on the camera are splendid. Loved it!

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  87. @ Red Handed - :) Thank you! You have an awesome blog yourself!

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  88. Perfection. :)

    Haha I hope that tshirt is officially dumped.

    I love how you conjure up images in the reader's minds. Good job. :)

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  89. Aaah. Another blog I like. I'm on a roll here. :P

    You draw up very graphic pictures in the mind. It's a talent! Treasure it. :-)

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  90. @ vidhi - Thank you! And yes, the tshirt is officially dumped. :P

    @ Trinaa - Ah, lucky you!
    Thank you! :)

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  91. Oye! Tum blogging kyun stop kare, miya? Aisa nahi karna!

    I MISS YOUR POSTS.

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    Replies
    1. :P I havent stopped.. just too lazy! :D But I shall post soon!!

      Delete
  92. This is a great post. I really like reading what you have to say. Keep it up.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. I am glad you like it! :)

      Thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  93. This was brilliant. Every bit of it. Really, good stuff. Also, the 2nd picture is a little too awesomely shot.

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  94. Oi, I miss you.
    Y u no blog now a days? o.O
    x

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